internal combustion

i can't put how i'm feeling into words

i think i need more alone time, and not alone time doing work. but at the same time i feel reluctant not to lead the life that i normally would, for fear for my friendships, and for my sanity. everyday i feel like i'm about to explode, because of all the things i want to say. and because of the way i have to act in front of everyone. it's been just over a week and i must admit, sometimes it feels kinda surreal, and not in a good way either.

i think what i wanna say right now is that, i listen all the time. i ask, i hear you out, and i try my best to offer whatever comfort i can in my current state of mind.

but, who listens to me?

i really, really, need to be alone.