Jerk, haha

Haters gonna hate. Judgers gonna judge.

Feigned ignorance is fine with me. Not that it's gonna last for long.

don't turn up perfect

I'm soo confused D:

bloop bloop

I think one main reason why I choose to keep problems to myself is cos as I've grown older (& maybe a little wiser) I've come to realise that everyone has enough of their own shit to deal with already.

SIP starts in a week, but I don't really know how to feel about it haha

regretful much

If perfect's what you're looking for then just stay the same.

There are just sooooooo many things I wished I didn't hold back on saying. So foolish. Oh yes one more thing that has been bugging me: It sucks when you have so many group of friends but just not enough time to accommodate everyone. I feel like I could go on but neh. Time for some shut eye.

LPK

Note to self: Alcohol doesn't really work all the time. Is it I feeling quite sian zzz. I think the only thing keeping me from hitting rock bottom is the cool weather haha

card house dreamer

Most of what I've been clinging on to has been dwindling away,
And I really feel the need to get out of this rut I'm in

doobie

Feel like getting myself a fred perry polo tee haha. I have too little polos

rich men

So pretentious

brownies

Can't seem to fall asleep. My mind's too filled with differing thoughts and emotions. Fear. Anxiety. Yearning. Loneliness. Envy. Fear. (Maybe a bit of hunger as well)

dreamin

So I've been spending most of the past 2 days reading. Actually got some work that has to be done but as usual I'm finding trouble with getting to it. Wonder where I'll be posted to for SIP..

deew

you're not an intellect

you're not poetic

you're not philosophical

you're not an artist

you're not a photographer

you're not a musician

you just have Internet access.

where're you going?

live life, regret nothing

run

Macs breakfast for brunch MMMmmmm....

fei fei

Tomorrow shall be used to read. Exercise optional but encouraged. Fei fei's goooood.

Tres

I honestly haven't switched on my laptop in 3 days. Fo real.

ah loy thai

I can't eat as much as I used to.. sigh haha

deal

I kinda look like a boxhead now

Red lights

I feel sad. But happy. At the same time. Wait is that even possible? Sappy? It's like being liberated but chained down at the same time. Sigh, welcome to Opposites Day.

lighthouse

Lunch at home usually sucks, cos it's usually the same thing over and over. However, starting the day to 'Supermassive Black Hole' is somewhat 'psych-ing' haha

spook

Vapour keeps looking at a particular spot of the house and has even barked a few times hahaha hmmmm....

critical

I haven't driven in a long time and I just gave up the chance to do so. Why ah? ._.

mary jane

Found a stash of new shirts in my closet. Muahahaha

summer in the city

no matter how carefully you choose your words, they'll always end up being twisted by others

malice in wonderland

So I finally remembered why I'm doing this in the first place. There isn't any logic but I just felt the need to. Kinda like the routine I set for myself. Eat exercise sleep repeat. Life doesn't get any simpler than this.

I disgust myself sometimes, and more frequently especially recently, by doing some things that would make me detest someone if that person were to do it to me or someone else. Rule #1- Practice what you preach.

I'm only human, but that's not a good enough excuse. Sigh

A-Team

the bloody idiot gave up the lambo for a bloody GMC van truck thingy ._.

gripes

it also kinda bugs me that some people have problems with 'your' and 'you're'

breathe

starting to realise that my twitter account quite full of rubbish ah

jimp

WTF MY HOUSE DOWNSTAIRS GONNA HAVE PASAR MALAM?!?!

Uno

so my hopes of getting a new CPU have more or less been dashed, with my mom confirming that she still wants to get my 7-ish year old com fixed ._. sian x10000000

For What It's Worth

reinventing your exit

so today marks the first day of my self-imposed exile from just about everything. no twitter, no facebook, and i'll prolly be ignoring my phone most of the time lest it's important. will be using this space just to keep track of stuff tho, and i plan to do this for about a week or so but we'll see how it goes.

nothing's wrong i guess. same old same old but i just felt like doing this. been having the usual barrage of thoughts; some old, some new, and i foresee more to come in the near future. hopefully i get them down here somehow, cos i really surprise myself with how smart i am sometimes (haha).

so right now im currently surviving on just over 2 hours of sleep from the previous night. wasn't a really great 2 hours either. The Expendables today was jusssst a little over O-K. nice action, cliche storyline. i actually had a lot more in mind that was meant for this page, but i kinda forgot what it was about (as usual). i somehow have this really vague idea it's something about how people around me are sometimes. will leave it for another time i guess (if i ever remember it).

imyb.

*inserts little heart*

if only i had a jet pack

it was hard to say

but i miss you

bye bye

limits

i think i should move

hollywood

don't think too much

internal combustion

i can't put how i'm feeling into words

i think i need more alone time, and not alone time doing work. but at the same time i feel reluctant not to lead the life that i normally would, for fear for my friendships, and for my sanity. everyday i feel like i'm about to explode, because of all the things i want to say. and because of the way i have to act in front of everyone. it's been just over a week and i must admit, sometimes it feels kinda surreal, and not in a good way either.

i think what i wanna say right now is that, i listen all the time. i ask, i hear you out, and i try my best to offer whatever comfort i can in my current state of mind.

but, who listens to me?

i really, really, need to be alone.

my beautiful rescue

for a single moment i want to feel like the universe isn't about to crush me and my heart isn't about to explode.

i would kiss you and tell you i love you and ask you please not to go.

16

So I wonder what I'll be doing
On what would have been our sixteenth.

butt cheeks

i feel geuuuudddddd

for now

so far so bad

it kinda sucked how i was completely forgotten

miserable at best

life's unpredictable, putting you through hardships when you least expect it.

the best thing you can do is to suck it up and take it like a man, and try to turn it around.

now, if only it were that easy.

im friggin cold.

yay kill me

so here it is

i feel rather lost at the moment.

but i put up a strong front in front of everyone

because i don't want, or need, the pity.

i just need time (or maybe something else).

letters to you,

i write in despair.

oh dear,

what a nightmare.

p.s. hi Rowena

bleed

Am I the cause of my own demise?

6

sorry doesn't cut it.

but then again, who's blaming you?

the fuck man, seriously

i promise never to let such a thought enter my mind again. ever.

cake

oh god, the irony of it all.....

love is nothing without sacrifice

I keep spacing out every other second it's almost funny. Almost

lm

I'm not asking for anything else in return
but maybe just to know that
I will be missed too

strawberry-rainbowship

word got out and i just found out

someone i used to be close to just passed on.

disbelief became anxiety, anxiety to find out the truth

and confirmation only brought about sadness, and a bigger wave of regret and contemplation.

'What happened to you, dear Mel?', were the first thoughts on my mind.

never once would i have even come to think that you would do such a thing.

never once did i spot the sadness you held in your eyes, with the little opportunities i had

and my next thought sent my mind into a whirl, 'What COULD have happened?'.

so then i went on, searching, in hopes, though the slimmest, for any trace of what we used to have.

and what i found only intensified the regret i felt within me.

thinking back, i couldn't help feeling that somehow, i could have made a difference.

a difference in existence. a difference in the life of not only one person, but possibly to hundreds.

im not saying that i should have, because im perfectly delighted with where i am now.

but the thought that i could just didn't leave my mind.

so, to Mel, wherever you are now, im sure you're fine. it's sad things had to end this way, hell, it's sad we had to end the way we did. but whatever it is, im sure that whatever you've gone through, you've left it for a better place, and for that im glad. i will always remember your sweet smile, the poems we used to share, the times we spent together. i know it's a little late to say this (and we only ever say this when something's gone) my only regret was not putting in effort into making the friendship we had last.

B, as how the brightest star, you shine

R, is my little request to always have your time

Entertainment. That's what you are but I know there's so much more

N, is our nonsensical conversations, it gets better than before

D, is all the days with you I still want to spend

O, is for outshining & that's exactly where you stand, friend

N, is how i'm never going to say goodbye

R.I.P, Mel.

death?

what im seeing, reading

it's worrying.

hustle

why the face sad eyes?

breathe

damn all that negativity.
i really love all the empty promises i make about using this space more often haha

fbsd

girls who need over excessive make up just to look just slightly prettier compared to their normal fuck faces are sad, sad creatures. i feel for them hahahaha

facebook makes me not want to start on projects. and where have we heard that before? :)

sia laaa

im gon try to use this space more often
cos recently i've realised that i actually think of really awesome stuff,
i just end up forgetting them all :/
waste of effing talent HAHAHA

earworm

you know sometimes i kinda wish we could just say what we wanna say without having to think about someone else's feelings, just so they know how fucked up they really are, and that hopefully they change (which explains my recent behaviour). but then again, we wouldn't have anything to gossip about, would we? ^^